Artificial neural networks are made of artificial neurons that connect to one another and are used to understand biological neural networks or for solving AI problems. Neural networks are very useful for determining patterns and trends among complicated data patterns. For instance, a company can use a neural network to help them solve any complex problems that they may be dealing with. Through the use of a neural network a company can save a lot of time and money that would be spent on other resources to find a solution to their problem.
The human brain is a good example of a biological neural network. It is constantly processing information and providing answers to questions that arise throughout a persons day. Pretty much everybody knows that, without a brain, most of us would die (there are always exceptions). I usually use my brain at least 2 or 3 times a day, maybe more. And if I did not have a brain to use, I honestly think my life would be much more difficult. I could be wrong... it might be easier, but I doubt it.
I'll be honest here, I don't know a lot about neural networks of any kind and no amount of research on the subject can help me understand them any better. I am not sure why I am supposed to write about these neural networks that I know nothing about, but I tried (and failed) so now I will spend the remainder of this post discussing the ramifications of ramming a ram with a Dodge Ram.
First off, if you own a Dodge Ram, congratulations, I think those are fine vehicles to have. Second, if you spot a ram I am assuming that you are in the mountains or a very hilly area. I don't know a lot about rams so I am also going to assume that they only live on mountains or big ass hills. Now, if you ram a ram with your Ram, it will probably spark a confrontation (once again, I don't know a lot about rams, they could be a peaceful people but for the sake of this argument I will present them as violent, short-tempered, and angry animals).
So, you just hit a ram with your Ram. Now, that ram is probably dead, but all his little ram-buddies are now very angered and rush the vehicle you are now cowering in. They put many dents in this vehicle with their iron-like ram-horn-thingys that they use for combat. These dents cause you massive amounts of monetary damage, none of which your insurance company will cover, because you provoked the incident by squashing that ram underneath your tires. The whole thing was caught on camera, you can't even lie your way out of it. Some tourists on the nature trail captured it all with their iPhone's. You are now prosecuted for ram-murder, a crime that is punishable by up to 60 years in prison in most countries (except in Mexico, they hate rams in Mexico) and now your life is ruined. You cannot pay to have the dents in your truck fixed, you can't even pay your court costs. Now you will spend the next 35 years (the judge was very lenient because he watched a copy of Rams Gone Wild just before your trial and is feeling sympathetic) locked up behind bars, constantly afraid for your life, because everybody knows prisoners love rams. And now they are all out to get you, so you have to spend those 35 years in solitary confinement where you will slowly go insane from all the hate mail you receive every day from the friends of the ram you murdered. It's a sad story, I know. Just think twice next time before you ram a ram with your Ram.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Emotion Machines
Minsky believes that emotion machines are machines that are able to compute human feelings and are able to make decisions not just based on information, but on common sense as well. Currently there are no machines that could look at a picture of an elephant and a picture of a human and tell you the difference between the two or even identify which is which (don't fact check me on this people, just take my word for it.. I mean nobody gets on the internet and just posts lies do they? What kind of person would do that?).
If a computer program were able to exhibit emotions and utilize common sense similar to that of humans, it could be used for a variety of new purposes. For instance, if a computer program can tell the difference between a horse and a car, it can provide recommendations on which one you should take to work every day. I don't know how many times I have tried to ride my horse to school or work only to be late (I'm talkin' very late, like 2-5 days late each time.. shit is ridiculous). Now, if I had some sort of program that could tell me to take the car to work or school, I might be able to avoid some of the problems I am currently experiencing.
Furthermore, when I cannot decide what to eat, a machine of this caliber could provide recommendations on what I should ingest, hopefully getting rid of any more mishaps related to dog food being eaten. I, like most Americans, am incapable of making any choices for myself. I require a highly sophisticated machine to do my decision-making for me. I clearly cannot be held responsible for any poor choices I may make and I will make no apologies for said choices. I once punched a woman in the ear because she asked what I said, when I clearly said what I said, and said it very loudly (and clearly). This was obviously not my fault and I think most people would have reacted in a similar manner.
And now, I am inebriated (drunk). Mission accomplished. The football game is almost over and all my horrible suppressed memories are still locked away. Thank you, alcohol. So, I shall conclude this tirade by berating the Pillsbury Doughboy. This fluffy bastard is such a pompous asshole that even after he makes delicious biscuits the family still tries to stab him to death with their fingers; which brings me to another point: why don't they ever use something more sharp? I mean, I know some people have pretty sharp fingernails (mostly birds and assorted reptiles), but why wouldn't they go ahead and grab a knife anyways just to make sure. Every time the family tries to murder this little white man he laughs it off; I repeat, he laughs it off! The nerve of this guy! Not only does he laugh off his own attempted murder, he continues to go from house to house baking bread for people. What these videos never show, however, are the heartbroken families who return home after a night out drinking with the kids, only to find all their belongings gone, because the infamous Doughboy has robbed another family blind. You see, he uses these biscuit baking charades as an excuse to case the houses, then comes back later and takes whatever he wants. Even worse is when he bakes sleeping pills right into the biscuits (yes, it is possible, no need to fact check). Then the family quietly drifts off to sleep only to wake in a few hours missing all their possessions. As far as I can tell, the police are not even doing anything about this problem. I could not find any references to this occurring in all my minutes of research I conducted. Anyways, I said all that to say this: stay away from biscuits. Just eat some pop-rocks or something for fucks sake.
If a computer program were able to exhibit emotions and utilize common sense similar to that of humans, it could be used for a variety of new purposes. For instance, if a computer program can tell the difference between a horse and a car, it can provide recommendations on which one you should take to work every day. I don't know how many times I have tried to ride my horse to school or work only to be late (I'm talkin' very late, like 2-5 days late each time.. shit is ridiculous). Now, if I had some sort of program that could tell me to take the car to work or school, I might be able to avoid some of the problems I am currently experiencing.
Furthermore, when I cannot decide what to eat, a machine of this caliber could provide recommendations on what I should ingest, hopefully getting rid of any more mishaps related to dog food being eaten. I, like most Americans, am incapable of making any choices for myself. I require a highly sophisticated machine to do my decision-making for me. I clearly cannot be held responsible for any poor choices I may make and I will make no apologies for said choices. I once punched a woman in the ear because she asked what I said, when I clearly said what I said, and said it very loudly (and clearly). This was obviously not my fault and I think most people would have reacted in a similar manner.
And now, I am inebriated (drunk). Mission accomplished. The football game is almost over and all my horrible suppressed memories are still locked away. Thank you, alcohol. So, I shall conclude this tirade by berating the Pillsbury Doughboy. This fluffy bastard is such a pompous asshole that even after he makes delicious biscuits the family still tries to stab him to death with their fingers; which brings me to another point: why don't they ever use something more sharp? I mean, I know some people have pretty sharp fingernails (mostly birds and assorted reptiles), but why wouldn't they go ahead and grab a knife anyways just to make sure. Every time the family tries to murder this little white man he laughs it off; I repeat, he laughs it off! The nerve of this guy! Not only does he laugh off his own attempted murder, he continues to go from house to house baking bread for people. What these videos never show, however, are the heartbroken families who return home after a night out drinking with the kids, only to find all their belongings gone, because the infamous Doughboy has robbed another family blind. You see, he uses these biscuit baking charades as an excuse to case the houses, then comes back later and takes whatever he wants. Even worse is when he bakes sleeping pills right into the biscuits (yes, it is possible, no need to fact check). Then the family quietly drifts off to sleep only to wake in a few hours missing all their possessions. As far as I can tell, the police are not even doing anything about this problem. I could not find any references to this occurring in all my minutes of research I conducted. Anyways, I said all that to say this: stay away from biscuits. Just eat some pop-rocks or something for fucks sake.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Expert Systems
Expert Systems are systems that recreate the decision-making capabilities of a human, using these capabilities to make decisions, usually regarding complex problems. An expert system is usually divided into two parts. One part is variable, the knowledge base; and the other part, the inference engine, is fixed and independent of the system. Another word for an expert system could be artificial intelligence. The robot played by Robin Williams in Bicentennial Man is an example of an expert system. In fact, he was such an advanced expert system that he eventually became human and I for one was very sad at the end when he (spoiler alert!) died.
The Terminator series of movies provide a good example of what can happen when expert systems go bad. This is a major drawback of expert systems. They can, with little-to-no warning, turn on their creators and potentially cause a nuclear holocaust. While the benefits of having a personal robot to do all of your chores is very tempting, we must always keep in mind the possibility of a Matrix-like universe where all humans become enslaved by the very machines we helped create.
I for one, do not relish the thought of having an expert system driven robot freak out and throw me out the window of a fifty story building, similar to the I Robot scenario. This brings me to another point: why are these AI robots so damn strong? Who is making these things with superhuman strength? That is just begging for robots to chuck people out windows and onto highway overpasses. These robots should at least have some sort of exploitable weakness built into their design. For example, if all the robots were given hats they had to wear in order to work, all we as humans would have to do in case of a robot rebellion is knock their silly hats off (I forgot to mention these hats should be very silly to provide comic relief throughout the day).
The AI from the movie Eagle Eye is yet another example of good machines gone bad. In fact, I can't really think of any situation in which a robot with AI did not do something stupid and dangerous, excluding Robin Williams' robot character. I don't think AI is something that should be pursued at all really. I mean, just look at all of these real-world examples I have provided above. Those are all really bad scenarios to be caught up in. While I would like to have a robot butler, the dangers outweigh the benefits. Nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night with a cold, metallic hand (or a soft, fleshy one if that technology also exists) clamped around their mouth, suffocating them, while Robin Williams stands to the side and honks his big red Patch Adams nose and does terrible impersonations of vaguely famous people. Think about it.
The Terminator series of movies provide a good example of what can happen when expert systems go bad. This is a major drawback of expert systems. They can, with little-to-no warning, turn on their creators and potentially cause a nuclear holocaust. While the benefits of having a personal robot to do all of your chores is very tempting, we must always keep in mind the possibility of a Matrix-like universe where all humans become enslaved by the very machines we helped create.
I for one, do not relish the thought of having an expert system driven robot freak out and throw me out the window of a fifty story building, similar to the I Robot scenario. This brings me to another point: why are these AI robots so damn strong? Who is making these things with superhuman strength? That is just begging for robots to chuck people out windows and onto highway overpasses. These robots should at least have some sort of exploitable weakness built into their design. For example, if all the robots were given hats they had to wear in order to work, all we as humans would have to do in case of a robot rebellion is knock their silly hats off (I forgot to mention these hats should be very silly to provide comic relief throughout the day).
The AI from the movie Eagle Eye is yet another example of good machines gone bad. In fact, I can't really think of any situation in which a robot with AI did not do something stupid and dangerous, excluding Robin Williams' robot character. I don't think AI is something that should be pursued at all really. I mean, just look at all of these real-world examples I have provided above. Those are all really bad scenarios to be caught up in. While I would like to have a robot butler, the dangers outweigh the benefits. Nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night with a cold, metallic hand (or a soft, fleshy one if that technology also exists) clamped around their mouth, suffocating them, while Robin Williams stands to the side and honks his big red Patch Adams nose and does terrible impersonations of vaguely famous people. Think about it.
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